2 Ducks Jokes
40 2 ducks jokes and hilarious 2 ducks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2 ducks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 2 Ducks Short Jokes
Short 2 ducks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2 ducks humour may include short ducks jokes also.
- What do you call a mouse on 2 legs Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot" - There are 2 ducks. One duck pulls his pants down. What does the other duck see? His but-quack.
- 2 Cows in a feild.. one says "what do you think of that mad cow disease?" The other replies "I dunno, it doesn't effect me, I'm a duck"
- I have adhd and have troubles getting to sleep. Doctor recommended counting sheep... 1 sheep. 2 sheep. 3 sheep. Cow. Duck. Horse. *Old MacDonald had a farm* and bingo was his name-o!
- Duck #1: "Quack." Duck #2: "Quack."
Duck #3: "Quack, Quack."
Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3.
Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?"
Duck #1: "He knew too much." - M R Ducks Person 1: M R Ducks.
Person 2: M R Not.
Person 1: O S A R. C M Wangs?
Person 2: L I B. M R Ducks!
My grandmother told me this when I was 5ish. Don't know why it cracks me up. - M R Ducks joke M R Ducks
Person 1: M R Ducks.
Person 2: M R Not.
Person 1: O S A R. C M Wangs?
Person 2: L I B. M R Ducks! - So I am from future and ...... 1 this joke gets reposted several times
2 I am going to answer a few questions ( due to time laws answers appears first) .
3 duck
4 no I still don't have a gf.... - 2 guys were walking on their way for a drink One of them walked into a bar.
*The other one ducked* - Dad: what mouse walks on 2 feet? Me:
Dad: Mickey Mouse
Dad: What duck walks on 2 feet?
Me: Donald Duck?
Dad: All ducks, d**...
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2 Ducks One Liners
Which 2 ducks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2 ducks? I can suggest the ones about stepping on ducks and oregon ducks.
- 2 guys walk into a bar.... ...you'd think the second one would duck.
- What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese? A paradux
- 2 guys walk into a bar The third guy ducked.
- What do you get when you cross 2 ducks and a match? Fire Quackers
- 2 men walk into a bar The third one ducks.
- 2 guys walk into a bar The 3rd guy ducks
- 2 men walked into a bar The other one ducked
- 2 hunters walk into a bar... ...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'
- 2 Friends walked into a bar.... The 3rd one ducked.
- 2 n**... walk into a bar, third one ducks.. just at the r**... moment.
2 Ducks Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 2 ducks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean goose jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2 ducks pranks.
My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me:
"Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?"
"Erm, I don't know" I replied
"Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing
"Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs"
"Donald Duck" I replied
"No, all ducks you idiot"
10-inch BIC
Two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of them wants to have a smoke.
1: You got a lighter?
2: Yes. *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter*
1: Woah, where'd you get that!?
2: I have a personal genie.
1: Cool! Can I make a wish?
2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. *Summons genie*
1: I wish for a million bucks!
*The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead.*
1: Wow, your genie really s**... at hearing.
2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC?
3 Jokes about bars:
1.
A duck walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."
2.
A typewriter walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."
3.
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."
Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.
Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Bonus #3: No more elephant jokes.
ADHD & Sleep Problems. Funny That You Asked!!
I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. Doctor recommended counting sheep...
1 sheep. 2 sheep. 3 sheep. Cow. Duck. Horse. \*Old MacDonald had a farm\* and bingo was his name-o!
A Hipster and a Duck
Part 1.
A hipster walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender goes Hey, where did you get that?
The duck goes In Brooklyn, there's thousands of them!
Part 2
A hipster walks into a Brooklyn bar with a duck on his head. The bartender asks What can I do for you?
The duck responds for starters, get this guy off my a**...!
Two r**... are duck hunting
1: M R Ducks
2: A R Not
1: O S A R, C M E T B T Wangs?
2: L I B, M R Ducks!
3 Ducks Sitting at a Courthouse
The Judge calls up the first duck
Judge: "state your name and your offense."
Duck 1: "My name is Quack and I blew bubbles at the pond."
Judge: "okay 1 week community service and off you go."
Judge calls up the second duck
Judge: "State your name and your offense."
Duck 2: "My name is Quack Quack and I blew bubbles at the pond."
Judge: "okay, same sentence. Now, off you go."
Judge calls up the third duck
Judge: "Dont tell me your name is Quack Quack Quack and you blew bubbles at the pond too"
Duck 3: "Nope! My name is Bubbles."
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a 12-inch lighter
Guy 1 asks: *"That is a big lighter you got there! Where did ya get it?"*
Guy 2 says: *"I rubbed this lamp right here, and a genie granted me a wish"*
Guy 1 goes: *"Cool, let me see it!"*
He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie. The genie tells him he can only have one wish.
Guys 1 wishes: *"I wish for a million bucks!"*
So the genie snaps his fingers and a few seconds later, thousands upon thousands of ducks come swarming into the bar.
Guys 1 says: *"What is this?! I said a million bucks not a million ducks!"*
Guys 2 says: *"Did you really think I asked for a 12-inch Bic?"*
Cat jokes
#10
Why does a tiger tell the truth?
Because he isn't a lion.
#9
If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?
None! They were copy cats!
#8
Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!
#7
What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!
#6
What is a cat's favorite TV show?
The evening mews!
#5
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens!
#4
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he's always spotted.
#3
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck filled fatty p**....
#2
What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
He stole the whole show!
#1
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?
A big, furry creature that purrs while it sits on you