19th Jokes

There's a special running course around the White House.

Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.

What's the difference between a 19th century slave and a 21st century unpaid intern?

No, seriously, I want to know.

Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

In honor of September 19th, what are your best pirate jokes?

September 19th is international talk like a pirate day, and I would love to hear all of your guys best pirate jokes. Here is mine:

Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet?
Because they spend years at Sea!

19th century monarchy humor, anyone?

So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"

If I had a dollar every time someone called me sexist...

I'd have enough money to sponsor the repealing of the 19th Amendment.

Today I've been cancer free for 19 years..

And it's also my 19th birthday, what a coincidence!

Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th.

"Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."

In history we were asked to give our opinion on the representation of slaves in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries...

I gave it a 3 out of 5

What do you call a racist 19th century artist?

Oppressionist

Why do 19th century western women insist on staying in the kitchen?

It's easier to control the arsenic.

The concept of drilling for oil was ridiculous in the mid 19th century.

Now we just see it as groundbreaking.

I just finished an exciting book on 19th century shipbuilding techniques...

It was riveting.

A young man is picking the petals of the flower...

19th century:
"She loves me, she loves me not..."
20th century:
"She'll sleep with me, she won't..."
21st century:
"I'm a man, I'm a woman..."

I started studying history and learned something really impressive.

Did you know that in the 18th and 19th centuries, the British Navy forced American sailors into service?

19th Century kids wont get this.

My professor gave me an F for my essay on late 19th century European history....

It turns out there was a lot more to it than "everything changed when the Germans attacked"

Why do 19th century dancers repeat the last word in their sentences?

Because they cancan.

The 19th of December is the anniversary of the death of Alois Alzheimer

But no one ever remember it

18 men walk into a bar

the 19th one ducked under it

On this day

According to Wikipedia, November 19th is International Men's Day. It is also World Toilet Day... I see what you did there 😂

In the 19th century, it was believed that the masses on top of volumes of settlers rightfully occupied North America.

Historians refer to this doctrine as manifest density

What do you call an Irish liberal from the 19th century?

A Famine-ist