Fun-Filled 1970s Jokes to Boost Your Mood
You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly...
Then Barack Obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.
In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...
Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).
Both were denied.
This is actually true.
My dad worked for years as an actuary.
Back in the 1970s he travelled a lot for his work. This was during the time when hijackings, bombings and stuff like that weren't too uncommon.
Being a statistician, he sat down one day and calculated the odds that a bomb would be on a plane that he was on. Turns out, he didn't like the odds.... so the very next day he starting carrying a bomb with him on every plane that he boarded.
Cause he figured, what are the chances that *two* bombs would be on the same plane...
A man goes to see an impresario
and says "Got any job openings?"
"What do you do?" asks the impresario.
"Bird imitations," says the man.
"Do me a favour!" explodes the impresario. "Bird imitations went out in the 1970s!"
"Fair enough," says the man
...and flies out of the window.
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)
A local Game Stop burnt to the ground. An insurance adjuster came out to inspect the damage
After looking at the rubble, he asked the manager if the building was a new structure. The manager said, "I don't think so, it was built in the 1970s."
The adjuster said, "I that case, the best payout I can give you is $50,000. If it was a new building I could have given you 95,000.
What did they call click bait in the Middle Ages?
Nothing the internet wasn't invented until like the 1970s.
I officially became an o**... donor...
Now does anyone need a 1970s brown electric o**...? It's been sitting in my living room for a long time.
Jewish joke from the 1970s: What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Arab riding a bicycle down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.
Wonder Woman
What's the difference between Wonder Woman and the d**... Wonder?
One was played in the 1970s by Lynda, the other by Jimmy.
