1860 Jokes

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.

Credit goes to the play: The Complete History of America: Abridged

In 1860, a man was given the job of teaching English to Indians (as they were called at the time).

He takes one of the Indian tribesmen out to the woods and is pointing things out and saying the word for it. "Tree. Stream. Rocks."

They go around a bend and right there in the trail there's another Indian humping a squaw's brains out. The English speaking man turns red and says "uhhhh... man riding bike."

The Indian pulls out his bow and fires two arrows, killing the couple. The English speaking man jumps back in horror and screams, "what did you do that for?!"

The Indian looks at him calmly and says, "man riding my bike."

In court today a photon was charged $1860 for speeding

It was a light sentence.

Last time I was in jail I felt like a crop field in 1860

Cause I was being plowed by black guys all day long

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