18 Daughters Jokes
12 18 daughters jokes and hilarious 18 daughters puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 18 daughters that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 18 Daughters Short Jokes
Short 18 daughters jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 18 daughters humour may include short 4 wives jokes also.
- The day my daughter turns 18, I'm going to buy her a locket, put her picture in it, and when she opens it tell her: Well, I guess now you really are… independent".
- I will never forget my daughter's words to me at her graduation. "Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back..."
- If I ever have a daughter, i'm gonna name her Desire And when she is 18, I'll kick her out of the house and when she asks why, I'll say "Because all suffering comes from desire".
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Uplifting 18 Daughters Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about 18 daughters you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sons and daughters jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 18 daughters pranks.
The Tea Party
Mom went shopping, leaving Dad in charge of their daughter. Suzie was about 18 months old and loved playing with her new tea set. Dad was engrossed in the evening news when Suzie brought him a little cup of 'tea' (really just plain water).
He praised her good 'cooking,' so she brought him more. After several cups of 'tea,' and much praise, Mom came home.
"Honey, watch this," said Dad and had her wait in the living room as Suzie brought him another cup of tea.
"Isn't she just the cutest?"
Mom waited until he had polished off yet another cup of 'tea' before asking, "Did you ever think that the only place a baby can get water is the toilet?!"
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
...independent!"
Late Night Political Jokes
"Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 68 today. When asked what her favorite gift was, she said, 'Donald Trump.'" Jimmy Fallon
"They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'" David Letterman
"Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote." Seth Meyers
I got an all out groan on this one
My son turned 18 and moved out. We turned his room into a home school classroom for my daughters. My wife moved her printer in there and needed to print something a little while later.
Wife- "my phone can't find the printer"
Me- "did you tell it that it moved"
After 18 years of raising our teenage daughter as a proud Republican she has decided that she wants to become a Communist.
Well if that's the way she wants to be, then Soviet.
(Apologies if this has been posted before, I either thought of it or remembered it this morning on the toilet.)
The three travelers.
Three brothers are traveling along a road, and their car dies. They all get out of the car, and start walking to a barn that's a little ways away. When they get their, the farmer comes out of the barn, and offers them a room for one night. He says to the first one, "You can sleep with the pigs," the second guy," you can sleep with the cows", and the third guy, "I like the cut of your jib. You can sleep with my 18 daughters." The next morning, he asks everyone how they slept. The first man said, "I slept like a pig." The second man said ,"I slept like a cow." The third guy said, "I slept like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."
One morning my gorgeous 18 year old sister came
into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted.
I was a good big brother. I put a comforting arm around her, and told her that it doesn't matter, that we'll always love her, and that I thought she was the most wonderful sister in the world. Then, I dunno how it happened, but we kissed, and soon things got really passionate - clothes came off, and... we had the most amazing s**....
Sadly, it didn't last. After I came, I found out the c**... had split. She started crying again, and I got the shakes. We went downstairs, hand in hand, to break the news to dad that his adopted daughter was probably pregnant.
I have never been less amused by the words "April Fools".
Three sheiks brag about the size of their family
I have 5 sons. If I wanted to I could form my own basketball team.
Oh yeah? Well I have 11 sons. If I wanted to I could form my own football team.
The third one is in a pinch, since he was blessed only with daughters. But then he thinks of something to brag about.
Oh yeah? Well I have 18 wives.
The other two look at him wondering what sport needs 18 members in its team or how women can be involved. Then the answer comes.
If I wanted to I could form my own golf course.
Father Knows Best!
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant! Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning; your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be two factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they each will receive a factory and $2,000,000.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."