17th Jokes

I'm unhappy with prime day

Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st

A man is new in town

A man is new in town and asks the next passerby for directions:
"Excuse me, could you please tell me where the church is?"
"Yeah, it's on 3rd street."
"What, right next to the brothel?"
"What? No! The brothel is on 17th street."
"Oh, I see. Thank you very much!"

In honor of Father's day, a dad joke

There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.

He'll be Bach

It usually only takes me one drink to get completely wasted

I just can't remember if it's the 16th or the 17th

I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury...

I guess you could say they were baroque.

A man sees his neighbour across the street, on his balcony.

He says, Hey, when is your birthday?

His neighbour replies with May 17th, why?

The man responds with I'll buy you curtains for your birthday so I don't have to see you have s**... with your wife!

His neighbour then says, When is your birthday, because I'll buy you some glasses. Maybe then you'll be able to see who the wife is!

A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle's house.

A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle's house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century! The boy sagged in relief: Oh, good that it wasn't new.

What was the most popular form of piracy in the 17th century?

Pier-to-pier

Japan won't get Fallout 4 until December 17th, but that's okay, they got the original fallout 70 years before us.

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks how are you going to pay for that?
Peter Paul Rubens says put it on my tab. I'm baroque.

I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.

I'm on a roll.

Please look at my previous post to see a list of my
jokes. Please give me feedback Thanks!

I'm trying to bring puns and one-liners into the U.S.A.

A wealthy gentleman began to chat with a poor woman on the streets of 17th century London

He asked how many children she had.

Six, she answered.

Here is a sixpence for them, he responded, handing her a coin.

No, sir, she said proudly, I will not sell my children.

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

4th July

If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn't 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.

Japan doesn't get Fallout 4 until December 17th...

Which is fair considering they got the original Fallout 70 years before us.

What's the difference between pirates in the 17th century and pirates in the 21st century?

The pirates back then got b**...

What is Captain Kirk's favorite fish, stretch and 17th century infantry weapon?

Pike

I heard a rumor that a certain 17th century metaphysical poet was cheap...

But who wants to tip a waitress who insists, before one has even finished the appetizer, that he must be Donne.

I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.

Because they come from the Baroque era.

Why were all the 17th century composers poor?

Because they were baroque a f.

My friend asked if I wanted to be the Terminator or a 17th century composer for halloween

So I said "I'll be Bach"

It is the 17th of October 2018. m**... was legalized in Canada.

A guy walks into a store and says to the clerk:
"I want a canadis"

Why will brazil have a hard time today in the world cup?

Because it's the 17th.

Title of a movie in which Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a 17th century musician

*"I'll Be Bach"*

A pirate's favorite letter

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

They don't know because the literacy rate was low in the late 17th century.