1500 Jokes
30 1500 jokes and hilarious 1500 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 1500 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out this collection of 1500 jokes for your entertainment. From classic knock-knock jokes to funny puns, this compilation of jokes is sure to have something to keep everyone smiling. Plus, check out the hilarious Ram 1500 commercial dance cover!
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Funniest 1500 Short Jokes
Short 1500 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 1500 humour may include short commercial jokes also.
- Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50 Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.
Riceless. - What's the difference between Brazil and the USA? About 1500 arrests within 48 hours of an attempted coup.
- A Chevy Silverado, a GMC Sierra, a Ford F150, a RAM 1500, and a toyota Tacoma are driving in convoy Best pickup line ever
- Not going to lie I'm a bit of a racist... I just refuse to run the 1500, its inferior to the 400m.
- The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died today... ...his wife is said to be in 1500 pieces!
- They say 1,500 souls died when the Titanic sunk... But there were about a hundred gingers so it's more like 1,400 souls
- The bible says that heaven is 1500 miles wide and 1500 miles high, built out of gold as clear as glass. There are going to be a lot of birds dying in the eternal paradise...
- Hans and Klaus went mountain climbing with their mother, but she slipped and fell 1,500 feet to her death. Klaus exclaims, "Look Hans, no Ma ! .
- Heard from my friend Sam (who is an infamous nutjob): What do you and the titanic have in common?
Both went down on 1500 men. - Recently divorced Marine s**... slapped with a 1500 yard restraining order. He is now struggling to understand the distance that has become between them, as well as windage.
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1500 One Liners
Which 1500 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 1500? I can suggest the ones about dance and round.
- I counted 1500 lockdown protesters in our city. Hold on, it's 900.
- I just burned 1,500 calories! I forgot the pizza in the oven.
- Just paid £1500 for a telescope... They must've seen me coming.
- TIL There are only about 1500 Volcanologists in the world The burnout rate is rather high
- Some idiot found $1500 on the street near WalMart today.
- See what happened 1500 years ago!!!!!!!
- How much does a Polar Bear weigh? About 775 - 1500 pounds on average!
- Boss fires 1500 workers. . . faces the death penalty for arson and m**....
Charming Humor 1500 Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about 1500 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gas jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 1500 pranks.
A drunk guy calls a radio station...
...and tells the RJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it."
The RJ asks in an impressed tone,"It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"
"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Rebecca."
I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine
A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".
A picture worth millions
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."
Scam.
I am p**... off, I sent off $1,500 for a book on how to scam people.
I have been waiting four months and it still hasn't arrived.
A cannibal was walking through the jungle
and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry,he sat down and looked over the menu.
*Grilled Tourist: $5.00
*Broiled m**...: $10.00
*Fried Explorer: $15.00
*Baked Politician: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and
asked, "Why such a high price for
politicians?" The cook replied, "Have you
ever tried to clean one? They are so full of
s**... that it takes all day!"
A cannibal attends a restaurant ran by another cannibal
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and browsed the menu:
\*Grilled Tourist $5.00
\*Broiled m**... $10.00
\*Fried Explorer $15.00
\*Diced Marine $20.00
\*Baked Politician $1000.00
The cannibal called a waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of s**... that it takes all day!"
Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%.
Professor: I'm sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.
Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...
The Russian and American generals are talking about their troops..(Old Joke)
The Russian general says, "we feed our troops 1,500 calories a day." The American general says "that's nothing. We feed our troops 5,000 calories a day, at least." "Impossible!" says the Russian general. "No man can eat an entire sack of potatoes in 24 hours."
A man writes a letter to the IRS . . .
. . . saying "I am unable to sleep because of the guilt I feel for cheating on my taxes. I have underreported my income and am enclosing a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".
Business is going well
A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and l**... business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 mattresses and 900 p**... and business is going well!'
The wife wrote back saying 'You should come back to India, with just 1 mattress and no p**... Ive made 500,000 dollars!'
Lifetime Investment
This morning I heard someone shouting loudly on a megaphone outside my window. Saying "If you invest $15.00 just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".
I went out onto the balcony with curiosity and saw the idiot, he was selling chairs..
Teacher: Johnny, your essay does not meet the word count. I said 1500 words minimum and you turned in a 500 word essay and a picture.
Johnny: Well, you're always saying that a picture is worth a thousand words!
A man wrote the IRS saying . . .
. . . "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my income and have enclosed a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".
