140 Jokes
50 140 jokes and hilarious 140 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 140 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 140 Short Jokes
Short 140 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 140 humour may include short eleven jokes also.
- What is the difference between game of thrones and Twitter? With Twitter you only get 140 characters.
- Everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009... They don't understand how killer the commute from Moscow is.
- The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140.
- Why doesn't George R.R. Martin have Twitter? Because he would just kill off all 140 characters.
- An Act of Malicious Conpliance Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.
Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end. - There are 280 Navy personnel on a destroyer when they leave for a cruise. Not a single one comes back.... ...just 140 couples.
- I wanted to share my novel based on the phone book over twitter But it's got more than 140 characters
- Why didn't George RR Martin (GOT author) use Twitter? Because he killed all the 140 characters.
- It's a good thing George R.R. Martin has a Twitter... If there's one thing he can do, it's wasting 140 characters at once.
^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out - I broke up with my Twitter girlfriend today Turns out she doesn't have much character beyond 140.
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140 One Liners
Which 140 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 140? I can suggest the ones about twenty and ninety.
- What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
- Why doesn't George R. R. Martin use twitter? He killed all 140 characters.
- Why was Game Of Thrones banned from twitter? Because twitter has an 140 character limit.
- What has 140 metal teeth and holds back the world's biggest monster? My zipper.
- I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are.
- What did Custer say to his troops 140 years ago today? MARCH 4TH!
- What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140? Convert to kilograms.
- Why isn't George R.R. Martin allowed on Twitter? He only has 140 characters to kill
- Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter? It only allows 140 characters
- What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter? A rashtag.
- How is Twitter like Game of Thrones? There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.
- Why doesn't JRR Tolkien have a twitter account? Because he killed all 140 characters.
- Twitter went from 140 characters to 280... with Game of Thrones it's the opposite.
- How many dimes are there in $14? Around 140. Or should I say oNe HuNdReD & fOrTy
- My wife and I lost 140 lbs in a week! Our son turned 18.
Share Hilarious 140 Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about 140 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean john jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 140 pranks.
The Pentagon is in the middle of switching up their nuclear codes..
They want them to be longer, in order to make them more secure. It's not because they're worried about spies cracking the codes. It's just that they want them to be over 140 characters so Trump can't tweet them out.
A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange.
He gives the teller $100 CAD And receives $150 ¥ back.
He returns the following week to do the same thing. He gives the teller $100 CAD and receives $140 ¥.
He asks "I was in here last week, why am I not getting the same amount back?"
Teller replies, "Well, fluctuations."
The Japanese man says, "Oh yeah? Well fluck you white guys too"
A guy walks in a bar asks the bartender
"Isn't that Bush sitting over there?" Guy walks over and says:"Wow,this is a real honor.What are you doing here?"
Bush:"We're planning WWIII.
Guy:"Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush:"Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."
Guy exclaimed:"Bicycle repairman! Why kill a bicycle repairman?"
Bush turns to Powell,punches him on the shoulder and says:"See, d**...! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
I lost 140 unwanted, useless, life-s**... pounds - in only 6 weeks!
I got a divorce.
Donald Trump & Ted Cruz are sitting in a bar...
Donald says to Ted
"What we need to do is kill 140 million Muslims & one smoking hot blonde woman."
Overhearing this the bartender asks why they need to kill a hot blonde woman.
Donald says to Ted, "See I told you no one would care about the Muslims"
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV
# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to h**....
When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!
The v**... Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"
"Yes," fumes God, "it turns out they're all terrible at receiving."
"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client....
First the bad news:
The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."
Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is down to 140."
I told my doctor that I was 20 lbs over weight, and my s**... life was no good...
I told my doctor that I was 20 lbs over weight, and my s**... life was no good...he said, run 10 miles a day for 2 weeks and call me. I did, and told him how happy I was that I had lost the 20 lbs, he said good, but what about your s**... life? I said, I dunno, I'm 140 miles away from home.
What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?
A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters
Congratulations to the winner of the 2016 Presidential Election.
The Curiosity rover currently 140 million miles away on Mars.
Why does George R.R. Martin use Twitter?
Because he killed all 140 characters.
Not mine, someone told me it.
Bad News & Good News.
"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the m**... scene."
"d**...!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"
"Well," the lawyer says, **"Your cholesterol is down to 140."**
