13th Jokes

49 13th jokes and hilarious 13th puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 13th that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out these 13th jokes for a good Friday the 13th giggle. Get ready for puns on 13th birthdays, 13th reasons, 13th steps, and more twists on 6s and 8s. Don't worry, your dog won't be left out—all jokes are pup-friendly.

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Funniest 13th Short Jokes

Short 13th jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 13th humour may include short sixth jokes also.

  1. I'm unhappy with prime day amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st
  2. A blonde and a brunette are in a car. Brunette: Christmas is on a Friday this year.
    Blonde: I hope it's not the 13th.
  3. Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said - I hear sirens. Jump.
    The other replied - But we are on the 13th floor.
    The first one yelled - This is no time to be superstitious.
  4. "Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?" said one blonde to another. "Oh dear!!" her friend replied, "I hope it's not the 13th?"
  5. Do you know why they don't have 13th floors on most buildings? Apparently it's because most buildings aren't that tall.
    No, no that's fine I can show myself out . . .
  6. Did you hear than Hellen Keller is the 13th most influential person of all time. Neither did she.
  7. A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are driving in a car. The brunette mentions that Christmas falls on a friday this year. The blonde says "I hope it's not Friday the 13th!"
  8. Are you alone this valentine? Just die on the 13th and you will surely get attentions with flowers on 14th
  9. Hey Guys! Wouldn't it be crazy if friday the 13th was on Halloween! I tricked too many people with that...
  10. Q: What is the worst date you've ever been on? A: Worst date I've been on was August 13th. Remind me to never stand on a calendar again.

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13th One Liners

Which 13th one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 13th? I can suggest the ones about friday the 13th and friday 13th.

  1. I had to cancel my dsylexics meeting tonight I never go out on Friday the 13th
  2. The worst thing about Friday the 13th Is monday the 16th
  3. I don't worry about Friday the 13th. It's bad luck to be superstitious.
  4. What do evil spirits say on Friday the 13th? "Voorhees a jolly good fellow!"
  5. I don't sleep with dates on the 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, or 13th date It's my prime dating rule
  6. It's Friday 13th... Thank my lucky stars that I'm not superstitious
  7. It takes me two beers to get drunk The 13th and the 14th
  8. I'm not superstitious on Friday the 13th Just a little stitious.
  9. What do they call the 13th floor in England? The 12th floor.
  10. It's Friday the 13th and there's a serial killer at the circus He's freaking in tents.
  11. life hack: if u kill urself the 13th you're most definitely gonna get flowers the 14th
  12. Why is the killer from Friday the 13th series so effective?
  13. Was worried about going to the doctor on Friday the 13th.... Turns out I'm dyslexic.
  14. We missed Friday the 13th by just 1 day... unlucky!
  15. Friday the 13th today Do not visit summer camp.

Friday 13th Jokes

Here is a list of funny friday 13th jokes and even better friday 13th puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th? *Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*
  • One blonde asks the other blonde when is Thanksgiving Blond 1: What day is Thanksgiving this year?
    Blonde 2: I think Friday.
    Blonde 1: Thank God it's not the 13th!
  • It's Friday 13th and I've just walked down the road and had to dodge loads of cracks. It seems Adele has been chasing pavements again.
  • What's an Alt-Righter's biggest concern on Friday the 13th? Having a black guy cross his path.
  • Today is Friday the 13th! Hope I don't get in a car accident as I drive to my dyslexia therapy.
  • So, this years Christmas is going to be a Friday... ...hopefully not the 13th!
  • Does Halloween Fall on Friday the 13th for the First Time in 6**... Years? No it doesn't
13th joke, Does Halloween Fall on Friday the 13th for the First Time in 6**... Years?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor 13th Jokes

What funny jokes about 13th you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saint jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 13th pranks.

The 13th Amendment makes it i**... to buy people.

Apparently, it doesn't apply to congressmen.

2 men are robbing an apartment...

...when they hear sirens outside the building.
"We need to jump!" says the first man.
The second man replies "But we're on the 13th floor!"
"This is no time to be superstitious!" exclaims the first man.

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on.

He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.
He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request.
She said, I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.
Once again he thanked her.
He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar.
He went up to her and said, Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.
He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did.
She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.
She replied, If I told you, you would only laugh.
No, I wouldn't, he said.
She said, I sell tampons.
With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.
She said, See, I knew you would laugh.
That's not what I'm laughing at, he replied. I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!

Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back,

"This is no time to be superstitious."

So many years after his death, I stayed in room 1401 and remembered how great Mitch Hedberg was.

"The hotel I'm staying in has no 13th floor 'cause of superstition. But people on the 14th floor: You know what floor you're really on. What room are you in? 1401? No, you're not! If you jump out that window, you will die earlier."
— Mitch Hedberg

The 13th amendment makes it i**... to buy people as they aren't property

Apparently, government officials don't apply

Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that... true love was arrested for human trafficking.

13th joke, It's Friday the 13th and there's a serial killer at the circus