The Best 34 13th Jokes
Following is our collection of funny 13th jokes. There are some 13th friday the 13th jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these 13th friday 13th puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest 13th Jokes and Puns
A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on.
He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.
He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request.
She said, I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.
Once again he thanked her.
He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar.
He went up to her and said, Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.
He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did.
She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.
She replied, If I told you, you would only laugh.
No, I wouldn't, he said.
She said, I sell tampons.
With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.
She said, See, I knew you would laugh.
That's not what I'm laughing at, he replied. I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!
Do you know why they don't have 13th floors on most buildings?
Apparently it's because most buildings aren't that tall.
No, no that's fine I can show myself out . . .
People are scared of Friday 13th.
I'm not, but I am scared of April 1st, because if something bad happens to you, no one will believe you.
"Ah, ha-ha, I see what you did there mr 'I've been kidnapped, call the police'"
I had to cancel my dsylexics meeting tonight
I never go out on Friday the 13th
Hey Guys! Wouldn't it be crazy if Friday the 13th was on Halloween!
I tricked too many people with that...
It's Friday 13th and I've just walked down the road and had to dodge loads of cracks.
It seems Adele has been chasing pavements again.
Some groomers for your friday the 13th
A snail goes to a dealership and finds an expensive sports car. The salesman says "What would it take to get you in this car?" The snail replies "Paint a big 'S' on the side." The salesman asks "Why an 'S'?" The snail replies "So when I drive around people can say: Watch that 'S' car go!"
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Why was the mushroom invited to all the parties? Because he was a fun-guy!
So many years after his death, I stayed in room 1401 and remembered how great Mitch Hedberg was.
"The hotel I'm staying in has no 13th floor 'cause of superstition. But people on the 14th floor: You know what floor you're really on. What room are you in? 1401? No, you're not! If you jump out that window, you will die earlier."
— Mitch Hedberg
R.I.P.
Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians
I'd be downs for that
What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?
*Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*
I don't worry about Friday the 13th.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
You can explore 13th dog reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean 13th 1st dad jokes. There are also 13th puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do they call the 13th floor in England?
The 12th floor.
2 men are robbing an apartment...
...when they hear sirens outside the building.
"We need to jump!" says the first man.
The second man replies "But we're on the 13th floor!"
"This is no time to be superstitious!" exclaims the first man.
One blonde asks the other blonde when is Thanksgiving
Blond 1: What day is Thanksgiving this year?
Blonde 2: I think Friday.
Blonde 1: Thank God it's not the 13th!
I'm not superstitious on Friday the 13th
Just a little stitious.
It's Friday the 13th and there's a serial killer at the circus
He's freaking in tents.
Q: What is the worst date you've ever been on?
A: Worst date I've been on was August 13th. Remind me to never stand on a calendar again.
Why is the killer from Friday the 13th series so effective?
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are driving in a car.
The brunette mentions that Christmas falls on a friday this year. The blonde says "I hope it's not Friday the 13th!"
The 13th Amendment makes it illegal to buy people.
Apparently, it doesn't apply to congressmen.
It takes me two beers to get drunk
The 13th and the 14th
Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that...
...my true love was arrested for human trafficking.
Did you hear than Hellen Keller is the 13th most influential person of all time.
Neither did she.
life hack: if u kill urself the 13th you're most definitely gonna get flowers the 14th
It's Friday 13th...
Thank my lucky stars that I'm not superstitious
The worst thing about Friday the 13th
Is monday the 16th
Paul Simon wrote a song from the perspective of the 13th element on the Periodic Table.
You Can Call Me Al
Are you alone this valentine?
Just die on the 13th and you will surely get attentions with flowers on 14th
The 13th amendment makes it illegal to buy people as they aren't property
Apparently, government officials don't apply
"Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?" said one blonde to another.
"Oh dear!!" her friend replied, "I hope it's not the 13th?"
Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back,
"This is no time to be superstitious."
I'm unhappy with prime day
Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st
What do evil spirits say on Friday the 13th?
"Voorhees a jolly good fellow!"
A blonde and a brunette are in a car.
Brunette: Christmas is on a Friday this year.
Blonde: I hope it's not the 13th.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the 13th tenth jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working 13th saint piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.