12th Jokes

Who is the most popular guy in the nudist colony?

The one that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts at the same time.

The most popular woman?

The one that can eat the 12th doughnut.

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."

She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.

Every day, I take the elevator to get to my office.

My office is on the 12th floor, so I always take the elevator up to the 11th floor. I would take the elevator straight to the 12th floor, but that's another story.

Overheard in line for a movie...

Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

Condom origins

Did you know the condom was invented in a small village in wales in the 12th century. They thought it would be a good idea to use the lower intestine of a sheep to stop their wives becoming pregnant.

Of course, in the 1350's, the English improved on the idea. They took the lower intestine out of the sheep before they used it.

A man walks into a bar and orders 11 shots.

The the bartender pours the shots and asks the man what the occasion is. The man says "First time for a blow job today." The bartender congratulated the man and said "For such an occasion, I'll add a 12th shot on the house." The man said "Nah, don't worry about it. If 11 doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, 12 won't either."

A man was trapped in a burning building...

...on the 12th floor. He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. He felt so relieved to be saved. Before climbing out the window he yelled to the fireman,
"What should I do? Should I go down with you on the ladder, or should I jump to the ground?"
The fireman said, 'The ladder."
The man died.

Went golfing with my Grandpa yesterday..

We were on the 12th hole and I hit my tee shot a bit to the left. When we got to my ball there was a big 40ft tree right in my way and I was just going to hit around it when my grandpa chimed in:

"Ya know, when I was your age I could hit it right up and over that tree"

Well not to be outdone my ego took over and I grabbed my 9 iron to hit it right over that tree. I took my shot and *THWACK* the ball hit dead center of the tree and bounced back 30 yards behind me. That's when he chimes in again:

"Of course when I was your age that tree was only 2 feet tall!"

So a Scottish man is talking to his angry girlfriend....

She goes, "How many other girls have you had sex with?" The Scotsman starts counting in his head, but after the 12th sheep, he falls asleep.

I held the door open for a feminist last month.

The trial date is December 12th.

Dad, can I have another cup of water?

Dad: But its your 12th cup tonight!

Son: I know, the baby's room is still on fire.

I've decided to join Anytime Fitness

Because I like to dress up as a 12th century Viking Warrior when I work out.

I was so poor growing up...

For my 12th birthday, I got half a cake with 6 candles next to a mirror.

What's the difference between someone who falls off of the 12th storey, and one who does off of the 2nd?

The first one goes "AAAAHHHHHHHH" and then goes 'Blam!'

The other one goes 'Blam!' and then goes "AAARRGGGHHHHHHH"

How do you tell from noise whether a person has fallen from 2nd floor or 12th floor?

12th floor- Aaaaaaaaahhh.... fa-thud.

2nd floor- thud. Aaaaaaaaaaahhh....

What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

Important Announcement to the members of the Flat Earth Society

Annual Global Conference will be held this year 12th of May 2017 in Sydney (down under)

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

A young boy wakes up on his 12th birthday.

He then decides to figure out who knows how old he is. First, he comes to his dad and asks:

- Hey dad, it's my birthday today! Do you know how old am I? Dad replies.

- I don't remember son, maybe 14?

-No dad, I'm 12!

After that he decides to ask his grandma, because she is old and probably doesn't know a thing.

- Hey grandma, it's my birthday! Do you know how old am I?

- I can figure it out, - she says, and then proceeds to put her hand inside boy's underwear. She starts to squeeze and roll his testicles around and after about 5 minutes she says:

- You're 12.

The boy amazed by grandma's technique asks how did she figure it out.

- I've heard you and dad talk.

This is the Alaska State Police.

Where were you during the night of November 14th to February 12th?

Just sold my homing pigeon

for the 12th time in a row

Someone on the New England Patriots is getting fired

Whoever forgot to deflate the 12th ball

You call your 1st grade teacher daddy, it's embarrassing. You call your 12th grade teacher daddy and the cops get involved.

We have collected gags that can be used as 12th pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 12th, here are one liners and funny 12th pick up lines.

Joko Jokes