12 Inch Jokes
99 12 inch jokes and hilarious 12 inch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 12 inch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 12 Inch Short Jokes
Short 12 inch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 12 inch humour may include short twelve jokes also.
- A woman goes to a pharmacy and asks if they have 12 inch size condoms. "How many do you want", pharmacist replies.
"None, just take my phone number and give it to anyone who comes to buy it". - Why can't a nose be 12 inches Coz then it would be a foot
Yea I'm an expert at dad jokes but am not dat funny - What was the real reason Princess Di divorced Prince Charles? She found out that not all rulers have 12 inches.
- I'm going to make a Sherlock Holmes game that is 12 inches long. I'm going to call it
The Games A Foot. - So I read an article today that blew my mind from a math nerd/science person perspective. Apparently factories are not making the 12 inch ruler any longer.
- Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman? They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5.
- Why couldn't Pinocchio's nose ever grow to be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot
- What does a sandwich shop and an adult film casting agency have in common? Both offer 6 and 12 inches in many varieties.
- Looks like Subway finally has a good excuse for their footlongs being less than 12 inches Anything under 12 is better for Jared.
- So I entered a race where we had to sprint the length of a 12 inch ruler It was a foot race
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12 Inch One Liners
Which 12 inch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 12 inch? I can suggest the ones about 2 inch and 4 inch.
- There once was a king who was 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king but a great ruler.
- Why can't your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot..
- I told her, "It might not be 12 inches.." But it sure smells like a foot.
- When is a hand a foot? When it is 12 inches long
- I had a 12 inch Italian last night Then I went to Subway
- Have you guys heard of the king that was only a foot tall? He was a 12 inch ruler.
- What do you call a dead man that was only 12 inches tall? One foot in the grave.
- What's 12 inches, pink, and throbs? Piglet stuck in an electric fence
- What's 12 inches and white? Nothing.
- What's 12 inches long and stiff in the morning? Cot death.
- How long is the longest foot in the world? 12 inches.
- I'm 5 feet and 12 inches. Don't you mean 6 feet?
No. - How I got it to be 12 inches long... I folded it in half.
- I've got a f**.... I only like 12 inch d**...
- Why can't you have a 12-inch nose? Because that would be a foot.
12 Inch Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 12 inch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean twelve year old jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 12 inch pranks.
Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!
A man walks into a bar and sees a pianist, who is only one foot tall, playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?" The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want." The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head. The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!" And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
Q: Who was the smallest man in the Bible?
A: King David because he was only 12 inches tall as he was a ruler.
So a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks “whats in the box”.
The man says “I’ll show ya’ if you get me a beer.”
So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano.
The little man starts playing the piano!
Next the bar tender asks “hey! thats prety cool, where did ya’ get that?”
The man says” I’ll tell ya’ if you get me another beer.”
So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says “I got it from a geenie and a lamp”
The bar tender says “If ya’ let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I’ll give ya’ another beer.”
The man says “Oh, Okay!”
The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.
The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out!
The geenie says “Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?”
The bar tender says “I wish for a million bucks!” And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room.
“What the heck is this! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!”
And the man says “Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist!”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Man Walks Into A Bar.....(Read this one aloud)
A man is working his job as a bartender one night. A man comes into the bar and sits down near him. He pulls a tiny piano and a 12 inch man out of his shirt, and begins to listen as the little man plays piano. The bartender says, "That's amazing! Where did you meet this guy?" The man responds, "Oh, a genie gave him to me. He's down the street right now, giving out free wishes".So the bartender took his break, and went down the street to meet the genie. The man found a person sitting on the street and asked if he was the genie. "Yeah" said the genie. The bartender immediately said "I wish for a million bucks!" Suddenly, a huge flock of ducks flew out of the sky and began attacking him. He ran back to the bar, where the other man was drinking his beer. "That genie s**...! I wished for a million bucks and he gave me a million ducks!" The man looked at the bartender and said "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy walks into a bar...
...and orders a drink. He's carrying a brown paper bag, which he sets down on the bar.
The bartender asks "What's in the bag?" The guy says "Wanna see?" He reaches into the bag and pulls out a very tiny grand piano and sets it on the bar. Then he reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny man dressed in a tuxedo. The little man sits down at the little piano and begins playing a song.
The bartender says "That's amazing! Where'd you get that?"
The guy explains he found a djinni's lamp, rubbed it, and was offered one wish from the djinni within.
"Have you still got that lamp? Can I give it a try?"
"Sure," says the man, reaching back into the bag and pulling out the djinni's lamp.
The bartender takes the lamp and rubs it. The djinni emerges and tells the bartender he can have one wish.
"Um... I wanna be rich!" exclaims the bartender. "I want a million bucks!" p**...! Suddenly the bar is filled with ducks. A million ducks.
"Hey!" complains the bartender. "I wished for a million *bucks* not ducks! Is your djinni hard of hearing or something?!"
To which the man says "You don't really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist, do you?"
Snowy week.
One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
It's the oldest joke in the book, but I love it.
A guy walks into a bar and notices a man about a foot tall playing a little piano. He asks the bartender why the little man is there, and he responds "I'll explain in a minute. First, make a wish on this magic beer bottle."
The guy says "Ok, sure"
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and a genie appears.
"You have one wish", he says.
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room, and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
The guy looks at the bartender and says, "Hey! What gives? I didn't want a million ducks!"
The bartender laughs, 'You think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?
Hard of Hearing Genie
(Sorry its a long joke, but worth it I promise)
So a man walks into a bar with a burlap sack. He pulls out a small piano, bench, and a tiny piano player, who begins to play songs on the miniature piano.
The Bartender, intrigued, asks the man where he got it. The man proceeds to show the bartender an old genie bottle. Out pops an old, dusty genie. The man tells the bartender to make a wish.
The Bartender wishes for 1 million bucks. All of a sudden, Ducks begin shooting out of the top of the bottle. Frustrated the bartender yells to the man "I wished for a million BUCKS not a Million DUCKS!"
To this the man replied, "Yea, and i didn't wish for a 12-inch Pianist Either."
12 inch Pianist
One day, a man walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot tall man playing the piano. He asks the bartender how he got the 12 inch pianist. The bartender says, "Oh yeah, there is a genie out back behind the bar!" so the man walks out behind the bar and asks the genie for 1,000,000 bucks. Sure enough, the genie poofed up a million ducks. So the man goes back inside the bar, and he says to the bartender, " I asked for a million bucks, but it gave me a million ducks!" Then the bartender says smugly, "You really think I would ask for a twelve inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between 6 inches and 12 inches?
6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak.
tiny pianist
An oldie, but goodie:
A man walks into a bar and sees a 12 inch pianist playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?"
The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want."
The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head.
The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!"
And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a bar and sits at the counter. As he orders his drink he notices a 12 inch tall man playing a small piano on top of the counter. The man asks the bartender about it...
...and the bartender tells him that in the alley next to the bar is a genie who will grant anyone one wish. Excited, the man rushes to the alley and sees a towering genie before him. The genie asks the man what his wish is, and the man says "I wish for a million bucks!"
The genie snaps his fingers, and then out of thin air a million ducks crowd the alley. Furious over this, the man returns to the bar. "Man, that genie s**...!" the man said, "I asked for a million bucks, and instead I got a million ducks." The bartender looks at the man and says "Well, do you really think I wanted a 12 inch Pianist?"
12 inches
Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.
"I sure do," he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch Bic lighter.
"Wow!" said his friend, "Where did you get that monster?"
"I got it from my genie."
"You have a genie?" he asked.
"Yes, he's right here in my golf bag."
"Could I see him?"
He opens his golf bag and out pops the genie.
The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?"
"Yes I will," the genie said so he asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there waiting for his million bucks.
Suddenly the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.
The friend tells his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"
The friend answers, "I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing.
Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch Bic?"
Winter weather emergency
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in the back woods of Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so snow plows can get through conveniently".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." And the power goes off.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"
With all the love and understanding that men who are married to blondes (and those with grey hair) always exhibit, the husband replied, "Honey, why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
Out on the golf course, a beautiful woman asks three men for some help with her putt.
"Whichever of you can help me sink this putt, I will give that guy a night he will never forget."
The teenager walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup."
The middle-aged man walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster! Aim 12 inches to the right, and the ball will break left two feet from the hole and fall into the cup."
The elderly man looks at the other two men in disgust, picks up the ball, drops it into the cup, takes her by the arm and says, "That's a Gimme."
A man enters a variety show
With his miniature companion, a small foot tall man and a miniature piano, not more than 20 inches across.
The mini man sits at his mini stool and plays the piano perfectly-- a classic Motzart concerto.
He wins the $5,000 top prize and the emcee asks, "So how did you come across a miniature man that plays the piano so well!?"
"Well, I found an old oil lamp and freed a Genie inside, so he granted me one wish-- unfortunately he was hard of hearing."
"How's that?" The emcee asked.
"You Think I wished for a 12 inch PIANIST?!"
Two of my favorite jokes by my favorite comedian
"Me and girlfriend..... we're not together anymore. She's got a new boyfriend now. They just moved in together. Actually, I've heard rumors that he's abusive, which kinda makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat...... and then blame it on her boyfriend."
"My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore.
When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head." - Anthony Jeselnik
A guy walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and hears piano music. He looks at the piano and can't see anyone sitting there, so he walks over and discovers a foot-tall man standing on the piano bench playing the tune of Dixie-Girl. The man thought that this was strange so he goes over to the bartender and asks where the man came from.
"Here," says the bartender, handing the man a genie lamp, "rub this."
So the man rubs the lamp and out comes this genie.
"What do you wish for?" asks the genie.
"A million bucks," the man states, quite sure of himself.
"Granted." And the genie claps his hands and disappeared back into the lamp.
The man looks around, checks his wallet but can't find a million bucks anywhere. Just that moment, a million ducks fly through the bar. Astounded the man says: "Hey! I didn't ask for a million ducks!"
"Do you think that I asked for a 12 inch pianist?" replied the bartender.
12-inch Pianist
One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny piano.
Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got this amazing person. The
bartender replied that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.
The man dashed into the the closet and as the bartender said, there was a genie inside.
Without hesitation the man wished for a million bucks, but instead 1 million ducks
instantly appeared. Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender and screamed
"I think your genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks."
The bartender shook his head and replied, "You're telling me... Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
The Giant Cigarette Lighter
A guy walks into a bar and sits beside another guy and immediately notices he has a giant cigarette lighter.
The first guy says "Wow! That's a huge lighter! Where'd you get it?" The other guy replies, "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish."
"Cool! Can I try it?"
"Sure."
The first guy rubs the bottle and a genie appears. "You are granted one wish" says the genie.
The guy replies excitedly, "I want a million bucks!"
"Your wish is granted." And the genie disappears.
A few minutes pass and then suddenly the bar door swings open and in pour ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks fall over each other and fill up the bar.
"I can't believe this!" says the guy who just made his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The second guy responds, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch Bic?"
My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party
I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Burning Rubber
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half- century age difference.
On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch e**..., and he was carrying ear plugs and a pair of nose plugs.
Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, What are those for?
The old man replied, There are just two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming… and the smell of burning rubber!
The 12-inch pianist
One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny
piano. Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got this amazing person. The
bartender replied that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.
The man dashed into the the closet and as the bartender said, there was a genie inside.
Without hesitation the man wished for a million bucks, but instead 1 million ducks
instantly appeared. Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender and screamed
"I think your genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks."
The bartender shook his head and replied, "You're telling me... Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
Piano Man
Peter walks into a bar and sees a miniature man playing the piano literally on the bar. Peter asks the guy at the bar how this little piano player got here.
Without turning to Peter, the man stares straight ahead and says, I rubbed that lamp over there, made a wish, and here he is. Why don't you give it a try?
Peter walks over to the lamp, gives it a rub and says, I wish for a million bucks!
Within seconds, ducks start falling from the ceiling and filling up the bar.
Peter, dumbfounded, turns to the man and proclaims, This thing is broken! I asked for a million bucks! Not ducks!
The man turns to Peter and says out of the corner of his mouth, You really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?
A giraffes' tongue is 18 inches long. Good thing it's not 12 inches long. Otherwise, it would be a foot.
Subway made a change in their policy today....
They banned employees from asking if customers want 6 or 12 inches with their kid's meals.
Court judge orders Jared Fogle to have one particular Subway sandwich every day for the duration of his sentence.
a 12 inch Black Forest Ham.
Little Piano Player
A man walks into a bar. He looks at the counter and see a tiny man, no more than a foot tall, playing a piano just as small. So the man walks up to the bartender and asks him about the tiny piano player.
The bartender say "I got him from the genie in the mens bathroom"
So the man goes into the bathroom and see a woman inside talking to the genie
"I wish for world peace" she said
Then suddenly the room is flooded with geese. The man walks out of the bathroom and goes back to the bartender.
"I think your genie is a little hard of hearing" he says
"Yeah I know" the bartender replies "Do you really think I would wish for a 12 inch pianist"
Wife and I go to subway...
She says she can't decide between a 12" or a 6". I told her get the 6" sandwich and I'll give you 8 inches after supper
A guy orders a pizza
He asks "How long will the pizza be?"
The waiter replies "About 12 inches."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde Girl wants to tell her two horses apart
She is quite distressed. So the farmer next door says "Why not cut ones tail off" So she does that. The next day the other horse gets its tail cut on barbed wire and it tears off in the same place.
The girl is still distressed and then she cuts ones ear off to tell them apart. Then the other horse gets its ear cut off on barbed wire
Then the farmer next door says you should measure them. The girl does that and is finally happy.
The farmer says how did it go and the girl replies "The white one is 12 inches taller then the black one!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i gave my wife all 12 inches...
All 2 inches of thunder 6 times.
An Irish pirate with a 12 inch wiener walks into a bar
and the bartender says "I don't even know how to label you!"
A man walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish.
The man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happened, and his friend replied, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats 12 inches long, purple and makes women scream in the middle of the night?
Crib death
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's 12 inches long, purple and makes women scream?
SIDS
A Man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar one night, and he sees a tiny man sitting on the bar playing a piano, so he asks the guy sitting beside him "Wow that's so cool! Where did you get that?"
"There's a genie out back! He's giving out wishes!" So the man walks outside to find the genie.
He walks up to the genie, and the genie says "Hello there! Have you come for a wish?" And the man replied "Yes! I Want a million bucks to fall from the sky!" And just like that, A million DUCKS fall from the sky.
So the man walks back inside and says to the other guy "Hey man that genie is cool and all, but I think he might be hard of hearing."
And the man replied "Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a 12-inch lighter
Guy 1 asks: *"That is a big lighter you got there! Where did ya get it?"*
Guy 2 says: *"I rubbed this lamp right here, and a genie granted me a wish"*
Guy 1 goes: *"Cool, let me see it!"*
He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie. The genie tells him he can only have one wish.
Guys 1 wishes: *"I wish for a million bucks!"*
So the genie snaps his fingers and a few seconds later, thousands upon thousands of ducks come swarming into the bar.
Guys 1 says: *"What is this?! I said a million bucks not a million ducks!"*
Guys 2 says: *"Did you really think I asked for a 12-inch Bic?"*
No such thing as a free yatch [Long]
A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.
Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.
A man walks into a bar
and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happend, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
My wife told me 6 inches isn't enough
My wife told me
6 inches isn't enough
12 inches is too much
8 inches is just right.
So skip subway and stop at Jimmy Johns
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 12 inch man playing the piano
So the guy walks up to the bartender and asks where did you find a guy that's a foot tall and can play the piano?
Bartender: I wished for him
Guy: yeah, like I'm gonna believe that
Bartender: no seriously, here you make a wish
So the bartender hands the man a magical genie lamp, and all of the sudden a million ducks appear out of nowhere.
Guy: what is this I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks
Bartender: and you think I wished for a 12inch pianist.
Another genie joke
So a man walks into a bar with a burlap sack. He pulls out a small piano, bench, and a tiny piano player, who begins to play songs on the miniature piano.
The Bartender, intrigued, asks the man where he got it. The man proceeds to show the bartender an old genie bottle. Out pops an old, dusty genie. The man tells the bartender to make a wish.
The Bartender wishes for 1 million bucks. All of a sudden, Ducks begin shooting out of the top of the bottle. Frustrated the bartender yells to the man "I wished for a million BUCKS not a Million DUCKS!"
To this the man replied, "Yea, and i didn't wish for a 12-inch Pianist Either."
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist
He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish.
He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish.
So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads.
He goes back in and tells his friend what happend? and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is 12 inches and white
4 of my p**...
This guy walks into a bar
Asks the bartender for a drink then pulls out a small piano and a man about a foot tall. The little man sits at the piano and begins playing a beautiful Beethoven sonata.
Amazed, the bartender asks to find out the story behind this mini musician.
The man tells the bartender that he was on vacation in Costa Rica and after a long night of partying he decided to talk a walk on the beach. While walking, the man trips over something in the sand. He pulls it out and dusts it off. Immediately after dusting, a genie pops out and says you may have 1 wish, anything you'd like.
Before the man could continue, the bartender interrups and says "so you wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
A Man Walks into a Bar...
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happened, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
...Because then it would be a foot!
(Yes, I stole this joke from a kid who told it to me)
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I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...
There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.
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Something here is a foot
Oh it's my d***
12 inches of wood!
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Wife (on phone ordering pizza): 12 inch please
Me : know what else is 12 inches ?
Wife: behave.
Me: (grabs c**...) Four of these !
A man sits at a bar and produces a small piano along with a 12 inch pianist.
Barman asks how did he come to have such a small pianist in his care?
With an annoyed look the man says "I met a Genie who had a hearing problem".
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Trust passing
These three country boys are walking to town. Despite no trust passing notices, they decide to take a short cut across a farmers field.
The farmer catches em and says I'll shoot ya all for being on my land. Unless all three of your d**... can add up to 12 inches.
Billy goes first he measures at 5 inches.
Jonny goes next and he measures 6 inches.
Peter goes last and measures up to 1 inch.
The farmer says, you boys are free to go.
The walk in silence for awhile then finally Peter says. It a good thing I had a hard on.
The Pianist
A man walks into a bar with a 12 inch tall pianist. He starts to play wonderfull music. Everyone applauds him. I ask the man who brought the pianist in, "How does he do that?" The man says that there is a genie outside granting wishes to everyone. I ran outside and there is a lamp on the floor. When I rubbed the lamp the genie came out and asked what my wish was. I asked for a 100 bucks. When he snapped his fingers, a 100 ducks fell out of the sky. I told the man in the bar that he gave me 100 ducks instead of 100 bucks. The man with the pianist says, "Yeah, do you really wish I had a 12 inch Pianist?
Beautiful Russian Girl
My friend Dave just met this tall beautiful Russian girl and now they are getting married. We all knew her from college except for Dave. She looks like one of those models from a beauty pageant.
To give you an idea of her beauty, On a scale from 1 to 10 , she got a 12 inches surpise for him.
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A boyfriend is ending it up with his girlfriend on the phone......
Him: Babe, I'm breaking off with you. Your father threatened me yesterday.
Her: oh no! What did he say to you?
Him: he said "If you see my daughter ever again, I'll get a 12 inch iron rod and heat up half of it red hot and put the cold half up your a**..."
Her: why the cold half??
Him: so I won't be able to take it out!!
A man walks into a bar
And pulls out a small piano, a small chair, and a small man. Theman walks over to the piano and starts playing it.
Everyone in the bar is amazed. They ask the man how he did it.
There's a genie outside granting wishes, says the man.
Upon hearing this, one of the bar patrons runs out of the bar and asks the genie, Are you granting wishes?
The genie says yes, so the man asks, give me a million bucks! And bam! A million ducks appear.
The guy goes back into the bar and says, hey! That genie is deaf!
The other guys replies, yeah, I know. Do you think i'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?
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Guy hears incredible piano music coming from a bar...
So he walks in and there's a guy about a foot tall that is beautifully playing any song someone requests. The guy is totally perplexed and asked the bartender how they found him. Bartender points to a genie sitting at the end of the bar and tells him he'll grant any wishes you want.
The guy walks up to the genie and says "I wish I had a million bucks!" p**..., there's a million ducks that appeared out of nowhere.
Guy tells the bartender the genie got it wrong. Bartender replies "you think I wished for a 12 inch pianist'?