11th Jokes

Every day, I take the elevator to get to my office.

My office is on the 12th floor, so I always take the elevator up to the 11th floor. I would take the elevator straight to the 12th floor, but that's another story.

I want to get married on September 11th...

That way I'll never forget my anniversary

An irishman named Sean cloned himself multiple times but just couldn't stand being around the 11th one...

There was ten Sean between them.

Redneck Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough because they couldn't afford a bigger bed. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his cousin-wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but that it would cost $1,000.

Not being able to afford the procedure, the doctor recommended he go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me - I don't want to go deaf! To which the doctor replies, "Trust me."

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count on his fingers, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... , at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand, 6, 7...

A woman is lying in bed with her lover

"You should leave, my husband can come back home any minute now."
"Don't worry, whenever we hear the doorbell ring I will jump out of the window."
"Are you crazy? It's 11th floor."
"Everything is arranged. I asked my friends to stretch out and hold a big canvas for me to jump on."
Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Without a second thought, the lover quickly jumps out of the bed and leaps through the window. The woman stands up and opens the door where she sees an impatient man standing.
"I'm sorry, mam. Could you tell Bill that we coudn't find the canvas?"

There was a little boy celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".

After having their 11th child, a redneck couple decided that was enough,...

...as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me".

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

Court Hearing in Helsinki

The judge questions the culprit:
"Where have you been in the night of the 4th November to 11th February?"

Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century?

It's a bayou tapas-tree.

My fencing trophy

I recently placed 11th at a local fencing tournament. I got a participation award.
When I came home my wife asked me if I got a trophy
I said "Sword-of"

Guy walks into a bar asking 10 shots of tequila

So the bartender asks what's the occasion. The guy replies he just had his first blow job. Bartender feels happy for the guy and says "first one is on the house". Guy replied "if 10 can't wash the taste off my mouth, I don't see how 11th would help"

9/11

A man wokring at the World Trade Center calls out sick on the day of September 11th 2001. He turns on the TV and sees the news. His wife yells to him and comes down to watch it with him. "Thats terrible honey, is your boss working today." "God I hope so" he replies

Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.

That was a really nice thing to do, the second golfer says. It's good to see there is still some respect in the world.

Well, it's only right, the first golfer replies. I was married to her for 35 years.

I'm DJ'ing my daughter's 11th bday. As DJ D. A. D. , I need to collect your best dad jokes suitable for the mic!

I'm sure she'll forgive me... eventually.... Hit me!

On the 11th of March I had the longest sex of my life, 1 hour and 30 seconds.

Thank god for Daylight Saving Time

Why was 10 always afraid ?

Because it was between 9/11

But 7 8 9

That's leave 10 and 11

And what is the 10th and 11th letter of the alphabet?

That's the answer to this infamous question

Mike tyson needed to beat his trainer to move up from 11th place in a tournament.

He couldn't beat his trainer because he was in tenth.

What is the most informative day of the year?

April 11th, the whole day is the 411

Uh oh! Guess what day it is! GUESS. WHAT. DAY. IT. IS.

It's September 11th.. you said you'd never forget!

We have collected gags that can be used as 11th pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 11th, here are one liners and funny 11th pick up lines.

Joko Jokes