1100 Jokes

Husband on second day of marriage :-

He went to the makeup artist who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iphone X box.

Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100.

Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"

TIL that 1/100 people have undiagnosed dyslexia

Whoops, wrong bus.

Husband on second day of marriage...

...goes to the beautician who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her beautifully packed iphone 7 plus box.

She opened the box with great happiness and was depressed to see a Nokia 1100.

Husband smiled and said
' same feeling '

Seller: 500$ for this parrot

Guy: 500$ HERE.
Voice in background: 1000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 1000$ going 1st..
Guy: 1100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 5000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 5000$ going twice....
Guy: 5100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 25.000 HE-RE.
Guy: 25.100 HERE.
Seller: Sold!!
Guy: I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out he can't talk!!!
Auctioneer: Dont worry he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?

There was a woman with 100 children…

There was a woman with 100 children. She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog this so that they can say things like Let's take this outside without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident.

Only 90's kids remember this.

Tickets to the Kentucky derby are 1100$

If I wanted to spend 1100$ for two minutes of action, I'd hire a prostitute.

What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100?

I'd say it's fifty fifty

Over 11,000 people voted for Harambe

If only he got 59,353,323 more

I got 1100011 problems

and using binary is one of them.

Why weren't the communists allowed to live in the dorms?

Because there are no parties after 11:00.

There was a woman with 100 children.

She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog "this" so that they can say things like "Let's take this outside" without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident.

Only 90's kids remember this.

The wife texted me, "Sex starts at 11:00...

...with or without you."

Do you know where your Children are?

In America they say "Its 11:00, do you know where your children are?"

in France they say "Its 11:00, do you know where your wife is?"

In Poland they say "Its 11:00, do you know what time it is?"

We have collected gags that can be used as 1100 pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 1100, here are one liners and funny 1100 pick up lines.

Joko Jokes