10th Jokes

Everyone called me a pedophile

My girlfriend and I walked into a local bar last night and everyone started calling me a pedophile and a criminal only because i'm 43 and she's 20. It completely ruined our 10th anniversary

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key!


This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.

My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24

What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.

I went to a bar with my girlfriend last night and people kept calling me a pedophile, just because I'm 53 and she is 22...

...totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

February 10th should be National Fart Day.

Because it's 2/10.

Went to dinner with my girlfriend tonight and got called a pedophile because I'm 30 and she's 19.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

9 out of 10 Chinese Doctor Have Cataracts...

the 10th drives a Rincoln

What's the difference between a person falling off 10th floor and 1st floor of a building?

The person falling of the 10th floor would sound like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *THUD*

The person falling of the 1st floor would sound like *THUD* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

i took my 19 year old girlfriend to dinner and people called me pedophile...

completely ruined our 10th anniversary

A husband and wife...

A husband and wife are celebrating their 10th anniversary. The husband surprises her and takes her on a vacation to a tropical island, far away. Getting excited the wife says, "If this is for our 10th anniversary then what are you planning for our 25th?" The husband says back, "I'll send over a jet to pick you up."

10 Blondes and a Puzzle Box

One blonde walked into a tavern one day and asked for a table that will sit 10 and a for a pint. She received her beer and a table that would sit 10. Later 2 more blondes walked in and ask for a pint a piece and sat by the blonde from before. More and more blondes came in until 9 sat at the table. The 10th one walked in with child's puzzle box with a huge grin. She asked for a pint, walked to the table and slammed the box into the center of the table. All 10 blondes began to drink hard and chant "51 days!!" The other customers became mad and asked the barkeep to stop their chanting. The barkeep walked up to the blonde that brought the puzzle box and asked, "Before I kick you out, tell me one thing, why are you chanting?" The blonde grinned and said, "Well us blondes have be racially descriminated for so long that my friends and I decided to prove everyone wrong. This puzzle box says 2-4 years and we solved it in 51 days!!"

Arrows & Targets

A boy gets a bow & arrow for his 10th birthday. He walks outside and starts shooting his arrows. Later his father walks in on him and exclaims, "Wow each of these arrows landed in a target great job! Lets go out for ice cream!" So his father and he go out for the ice cream after it's finished his father asks, "how did you do it?" Then the son says, "It wasn't hard. I just shot arrows and drew circles around them."

Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD.

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key

I'm 40 and my girlfriend is 20. We were at a bar tonight and people kept giving us dirty looks.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

Not so funny short joke

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor? 1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

Two guys are delivering a piano...

.... on the 10th floor of a walk-up building. On the 9th floor they rest for one final time.
Guy in the front: "Dude, I got good news and bad news"
Guy in the back: "Tell me the bad news first."
Guy in the front: "We're in the wrong building."
Guy in the back: "And the good news?"
Guy in the front: "We only have one more floor to go."

9/10 Asians have cataracts

The 10th one has a Mercedes

Reminiscing on our anniversary

My wife and I just had our 10th anniversary. We had some friends over to celebrate with and they asked us to talk about how we met. On our first 8 dates we just went out to different restaurants, but the next time we got tickets to see the premiere of The Dark Knight.

So I guess we could summarize our dating history as dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!

A very elderly couple...

A very elderly couple is having their 75th wedding anniversary. The man said to his wife "Dear there is something that i must ask you. It has always bothered me that our 10th child has never looked quite like the rest. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer could not take all of that away. But, I must know did he have a different father?" The wife drops her head unable to look her husband in the eye and then confessed. "Yes he did." The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife had said had hit him harder than he expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who? Who was he? Who was the father?" Again the woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally she says to her husband, "You."

A nun decides to dye her worn out clothes

A nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the colour back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes. Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry.

When she returned to the store for the 10th time, she dyed and hung her clothes. When she came back to get her clothes, they were stiff and uncomfortable. She complained to the store manager and asked why that happened to her clothes.

The store manager replied: "Well madam, old habits dye hard"

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night

Locals were shouting "pehopile" and other names at me,just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

October 10th was such a great day

10/10

I walked past the pub the other day with my girlfriend, and they wouldn't stop calling me a paodophile just cause I'm 30 and she's 20

They completely ruined our 10th anniversary.

Is your birthday the 10th of October?

Because you look like a 10/10!

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

Answer: A key.

Women need to work on relationships more

This is the 10th time I've been told, "it has nothing to do with you, it's me"....

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole it has often poked before?

**A key**.



--
*Not OC. Rumored to be first joke recorded in 10th century A.D.*

What would they call the 10th installment in the Fast and Furious Series?

-Fast 10 Your Seatbelts

-Fast 10 Furious

A husband and wife decide to relive their first date on their 10th anniversary.

They come to the fence that they first made love up against. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love. 

He pushes her up against the fence and says "You're even tighter than when we first started to date!" 

She replies "The fence wasn't electric 10 years ago."

My girlfriend's dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she's 18 and I'm 32.

It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Did you hear about the vegan that jumped from the 10th floor?

He turned into a vegetable.

My wife and I have been happily married for 7 years.

And today happens to be our 10th Anniversary!

What's the difference between falling from the first floor and falling from the 10th floor?

First floor: Thump! ...Aaaaaaah!!

Tenth floor: Aaaaaaah!! ...Thump!

What's the difference between falling from the 1st and the 10th floor?

The former goes "Splat.....Ahhh!" and the latter goes "Ahhhhhhhh...........Splat!"

I'm 31 and my girlfriend is 19. People make bad comments about it all the time and this is crazy

Btw we are celebrating our 10th anniversary next week

So I went to the bar with my wife and...

people were calling me "freak" and "pedo" because I'm 29 and she's 18.

Really ruined our 10th anniversary.

9 of 10 doctors agree good things come to those who wait

The 10th doctor needs more patients though.

A new boy has just enrolled at school and the teacher remarked on his unusual name, Aday.

I've never heard that name before, she said

My father thought of it, said the boy.

I was the 10th kid in our family, and when I was born, Dad said: 'For cryin' our loud, let's call it a day!'

So, a dog walks into a telegraph office...

...he tells the telegraph operator that he'd like to send a telegram that says, "Woof, woof, woof...woof, woof, woof, woof." The operator says, "I noticed you have 9 words. You can include a 10th "Woof" at no extra charge. And, the dog looks at him and says, "Why? That wouldn't make any sense."

10 pins were crossing a railway track. Suddenly they saw a train approaching them. 9 pins were able to cross. But the 10th pin couldn't make it and the train went over it. But nothing happened to that pin. Why?

Because it was a safety pin!

My gym buddy and I were doing situps when he decided that he wanted to add some extra weight on his chest.

So I said "Your mother tried to love you but you never met any of her expectarions. You are such a disappointment and is probably the reason why your father left you on your 10th birthday".

Apparently it was a little too heavy.

A co-worker invited me to her home for my 10th company anniversary.

She asked me to wait and went into her bedroom. When she called me in, the entire department was there and sang "He's a jolly good fellow." Boy, I'd have been totally off my socks if that wasn't the only thing I still had on.

Chinese anniversary

A Chinese couple is celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. The husband says, "Since this is such a special night for us, I'll make love to you however you'd like." The wife replies, "Oh, all my friends tell me they love 69! Let's do 69 tonight!" The husband says, "You want to make love with sweet & sour pork??"

I took my wife to China for our 10th anniversary.

I'm picking her up on our 20th

After getting divorced,

I met a girl on a first date


Girl: where were you before?


Me: i was in jail, i just came out after doing 10 years.


Girl: why? What crime did you commit?


Me: I committed a marriage.


** today is my 10th anniversary and i just created this joke**

[Remembering] Today is the 10th anniversary of the passing of Mitch Hedberg

Share some of your favorite Hedberg lines! Personally, I quote these ones the most:

"I have not slept for ten days because that would be too long."

"I used to do drugs. I still do. But I used to, too!"

That's the 10th cavity search I've preformed on a minor just today!

Busy day for a dentist!

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make

10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH *BOOM* "

1st floor " *BOOM* AHHHHHHHHHH "

My wife kept using the word "hafta"

She would keep telling me, "I hafta watch my weight! Otherwise I might get fat."

After the 10th time I said, " Honey, you keep saying it wrong. It's, I hafta watch my weight otherwise I might get fatter."

[NSFW] 9 out of 10 doctors recommend BDSM

The 10th one is tied up.

We have collected gags that can be used as 10th pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 10th, here are one liners and funny 10th pick up lines.

Joko Jokes