104 Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Facts of life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he'd be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims because they went through 104 stories in just a few seconds

Hi I'm Bill Gates! Today we're gonna learn how to count to 10.

1.01,1.02, 1.03, 1.04, 2.03, 2.10, 2.11, 3, 3.1, 3.2, 95, 98, 2000, ME, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.

What's today's date?

10-4 Good Buddy!

litte Johnny eating chocolate bars

Little Johnny was sitting on a bench next to an old man. Little Johnny pulls out a KitKat and eats the whole thing. Then he pulls out a Snickers and eats that aswell. Then little Johnny pulls out a O'hennry and opens it up. The old man says "Hold on little boy, you shouldn't eat all those chocolate bars. Youll get sick and won't live to be my age."
Little Johnny says "How old is that?"
The old man says "84"
litlle Johnny says 'Ya?, well my grandpa is 104!, you wanna know how he got to be that old?"
The old man says "How?"
Little Johnny smiles and says " by minding his own damn business"

WHY I AM SO TIRED

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.
Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me . . . and you're sitting there reading jokes.

A reporter is interviewing a 104 year old woman...

....and asks:"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

Today is the only day out of the year

I wouldn't mind if people asked me the date just so I can respond with "10/4 buddy"

As Steve was eating a chocolate bar, a man walked up to him

Man: Chocolate isn't good for you

Steve: My grandpa ate chocolate every day, and he lived to be 104 years old

Man: Do you really think he lived that long because of the chocolate that he ate?

Steve: No. It was because he knew when to keep his mouth shut

I signed up for some Meteorology courses.

MET 104 Standing in Deep Water

MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain

MET 106 Acting Amazed

99ยข condom

A young guy walks into a drugstore to buy a condom. He sees they are on sale for 99ยข each and luckily he has $1 on him. He gives the condom to the clerk.

Clerk: That'll be $1.04

Guy: I thought they were on sale for 99ยข. What's the extra 5ยข for?

Clerk: Tax

Guy: Tacks!? I thought you rolled them on!!

What type of people read the fastest?

9/11 victims. One when through 104 stories in a few seconds.

Why is today a trucker's favorite day?

Cuz it's 10-4 GOOD BUDDY!!!

My crazy great Grandma

My Great Grandma is 104, and she said to me:

"If the good die young, I MUST BE TERRIBLE"

Who are the fastest readers?

Answer: 9/11 victims
Because they went through 104 stories in 9 seconds

A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says

10-4

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

And what do you think is the best thing about being 104? the reporter asked. She simply replied, No peer pressure.

Inventing Words

A local radio station was running a competition โ€“ words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to the Bahamas.

RJ: "104 FM here, what's your name?"

Caller: "Hi! My name's Rob."

RJ: "Rob, what's your word?"

Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."

RJ: "...You're correct, Rob, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to the Bahamas: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"

Caller: "Goan fuck yourself."

The RJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

RJ: "104 FM here, what's your name?"

Caller: "Hi! My name's Doug."

RJ: "Doug, what's your word?"

Caller: "Smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."

RJ: "...You're correct, Doug, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to the Bahamas: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"

Caller: "Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!"

My friend and I like to talk by radio...

Today, I asked him to tell me what the date is.

He responded: "10-4, buddy"

What day is today?

10-4, over.

Who were the fastest readers in human history?

Whoever jumped from the top floor of the World Trade Center, they went through 104 stories in under 10 seconds.

What are the funniest 104 jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about 104? Well, here are the best 104 puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny 104 pick up lines to share with friends.

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