100th Jokes

Following is our collection of communicate humor and buffalo one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include 100th puns for adults, dirty hundredth jokes or clean speak gags for kids.

There is an abundance of twelfth jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes on 100th. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any seventh witze you can hear about 100th.

The Best jokes about 100th

So a cop pulls over a guy for wearing his seatbelt..

tells the citizen that his captain gave him a 100 dollar bill to give to the 100th person he sees wearing their seat belt. The citizen looks a little confused, but of course, accepts the note, and proceeds to leave. The officer asks, " So, if you don't mind my asking, what are you going to spend the money on?" To a reply of, " yes, i do mind your asking, and frankly, i don't think its any of your business." The officer of course is stunned, but , as he goes to leave, the drivers objects. "If you must know, i'll probably spend it on getting my drivers license." The cop is taken aback, as the passenger says, " Oh don't listen to him, he's drunk." Shortly thereafter, a knocking comes from the trunk, and a muffled voice says, " are we over the border yet?"

edited for grammar nazis.

A driver is stopped by the police...

The officer says:
-Congratulations! You are the 100th person who has remembered to use a seatbelt today, and therefore you have won $1000. What will you spend the money on?

Driver:
-Well, a driving license I think?

The passenger sitting next to him hurries to say:
-You should not listen to him, he's drunk!

A sound is heard from the back seat:
-I knew stealing a car was a bad idea.

At the same time, a foreign accent is heard from the trunk:
-Have we passed the border yet?

Even though we're nearing the 100th year anniversary of Buffalo Bill's death...

...can we still call it bison-tennial?

Secret of Grandpa

Secret of Grandpa
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday.Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"I will tell you the secret of my success," Grandpa said, "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding day, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had an argument, or fight, the one who proved wrong would go outside and take a walk for 5 kms. Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

One friend further asked, 'But your wife is also slim and energetic?'

Grandpa said, 'that is another secret, my wife use to follow me behind checking whether I go for 5 kms or sit in a park!!!.'

I got an escort for my grandpa's 100th birthday.

She said that she would give him super sex. He said "I'll take the soup."


A journalist traveled to the South Pole to interview 100 penguins..:

The journalist had them all line up and ask all of them one question: what is your typical day like?

The first penguin answered, I eat, I swim, I sleep, and I hit my friend up.

Then the journalist went to the second penguin for its response, which was, I eat, I swim, I sleep, and I hit my friend up.

The journalist went through 99 penguins who all have the identical answer. When he finally reached the 100th penguin, he asked, what is your typical day like?

The last penguin said, I eat, I swim, and I sleep.

Confused, the journalist asked, don't you hit your friend up too?

The penguin answered, my name is Up!

An elder couple goes to restaurant in Paris

An elder couple goes to a restaurant for the man's 100th birthday. Upon entering a favorite restaurant of his, they found out it is fully booked.

In an attempt to seal a table still, the woman starts explaining how her husband fought in World War II for his country, that he came to this particular restaurant with his army friends. He probably wouldn't live much longer than this, and though his army friends were long gone, he wanted to dine here one last time.

Moved by his story the manager fixed them a table and gave them the best possible service he could. After a wealthy fine dinner, with some really great wines the couple proceeds to check out.

When paying the manager asked the man, who had been rather quiet so far, if everything was ok. To which the man replied: Das Essen war sehr gut, vielen Dank!

Once upon a time, there was a boxer who always wins every single match...

When fans asked him what's his secret, he would just say, "I imagine there's a line on my opponent's face and I hit that line,". On his 100th boxing match, the whole world was watching. He lost. It was his first loss ever in his career. Fans again wondered so he was interviewed. A reported asked how come he lost this game. "Well, I carefully looked at the opponents face," he said, "and there's no punch line".

I participated in a poll..

It asked, "Do you consider yourself unique and special?"
99 people voted for yes.
I was the 100th who voted for no. I guess everyone is different, I am the only ordinary one.

The Queen Bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day.

Jay Z found his 100th problem then.

My Grandma died on her 100th birthday.

It was a real shame as we were only half way though giving her the bumps.


Grandma

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where
the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when
she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to
the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again
the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again
grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi
Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
nephew: "They won't let me fart."

Yesterday I went on the 'Once in your lifetime Honeymoon' with my new wife...

The manager congratulated me on my 100th visit

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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