100m Jokes

What are some 100m jokes?

100m Dash

A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"

Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"

"No, with 8 black men and a gun."

A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100m finals

I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?"

"No," she said,

"Eight black men and a gun."

My last time having sex was like the 100m dash

There were 8 black guys and a gun

Last time I had sex, it felt like the 100m Olympic final.

There were 8 black men and a gun.

Grandma's Facebook

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, D.C.

Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls it down and asks, What's going on?

Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100m ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car collecting donations.

How much is everyone giving, on average? asks the driver.

The man replies, Roughly a gallon."

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

Watching the olympic 100m is like witnessing a crime

You hear a gunshot and a second after you see 8 black guys running away.

Imagine winning the 100m butterfly...

What would you do with such a big insect?


I walk past a mental Asylum every day and yesterday as I neared I could hear them chanting "Seven..Seven..Seven." This continued as I walked along the wooden fence and I found myself looking for a gap to see what was going on. About 100m down the fence i spotted a hole where the knot had fallen out and hurried towards it. I jammed my eye up to the hole, rather excited to see the ruckus and a finger sprung out and jabbed me in th eye. "Eight..eight..eight."

My first sex was like 100m dash...

... with 8 black men and a gun.

Who is faster?

Usain Bolt in the 100m finals or Ryan Lochte running through the airport to catch his flight out of Brazil?

What do you get when you put 8 black men and a Gun together ?

The 100m Olympic Finals, ofcourse.

What's white and in the men's 100m track final?

The lines.

Usain Bolt did the 100m in 9.63 seconds..

I can't do anything that quick!
It took me 10 seconds to watch him run it!

I like to be positive

Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.

I have mixed race parents, my dad prefers the 100m

and my mom is Hispanic

I'm not racist, but some races are simply inherently more important than others.

For example, the presidential race is much more important than some 100m dash.

My parents are mixed-race..

My Dad prefers the 100m sprint and my Mom prefers the 400m hurdles

Did you hear about the 100m dash?

It was a page turner.

I used to be the fastest mathematician in my country.

Turns out most of them aren't very good at 100m sprints.

A fort under siege held a 100m race for the women.

Mary, Pam and carol were the top three, sally fourth.

The last time I had sex was like the 100m Olympic dash

Surrounded by 8 black men with their loaded guns

How to make 100m jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about 100m to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 100m? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny 100m pick up lines to share with friends.

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