...so I bought her a bathroom scale.
Bob woke up one morning to find his wife waiting for him in the kitchen, looking unusually angry.
"What's wrong dear?"
"Do you know what yesterday was?"
At that moment Bob realized that yesterday was his anniversary with his wife.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry how could I forget?"
"Well it doesn't matter. I want something that can go 0-200 in less then 60 seconds on the front yard tomorrow."
The next morning, Bob's wife woke up and couldn't find Bob. So she went out in the front yard. Greeting her was neither a car nor Bob, it was a small cardboard box. Perplexed, she took the box inside the house and opened it.
Inside was a bathroom scale.
My wife said that for Christmas, she wanted something that went from 0-200 in 6 seconds; so I got her a scale.
Did you hear about the 2 gay Irish men? Kevin Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzkevin.
So Hillary Clinton decides to have the talk with Chelsea. She asks if Chelsea is sexually active yet to which Chelsea replies, "Not according to Dad."
Apparently a scale wasn't what she was thinking.
So his wife says to him "tomorrow I better wake up and there will be something with a bow on it that go from 0-200 in the blink of any eye."
The next day the wife wakes up and in the driveway is a big box with a bow on it. Excitedly she opens the box and much to her surprise all she uncovers is a scale.
I got her a bathroom scale.
I told her to go step on the scale!
A bathroom scale wasn't what I had in mind
When he gets home, his wife is completely enraged. "I DEMAND THAT YOU GET ME SOMETHING THAT CAN GO FROM 0-200 IN 5 SECONDS OR LESS!". The man cowers under his wife and nods his head.
The next morning the man leaves early for work and puts a small package on the driveway. When his wife wakes up, she looks outside and sees the package. Confused, she grabs her coat and runs outside. She rips up the paper, expecting to see keys, but instead there is a weight scale.
The man has been missing for several days.
So he bought her a bathroom scale.
You're fat liane, don't sugar coat it. Because you'll just eat that too.
My wife asked me for something that went from 0-200 insanely fast.
Bought her a pair of scales
We have collected gags that can be used as 0200 pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 0200, here are one liners and funny 0200 pick up lines.