00am Jokes

14 00am jokes and hilarious 00am puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 00am that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest 00am Short Jokes

Short 00am jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 00am humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million: Get up at 5:00AM every day
    90 minutes of cardio
    Take a cold shower
    Schedule out your day
    Dad owns Fortune 500 company
  2. My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:00am I know 2:00am!? Good thing I was still up playing my drums
  3. I was asked to deliver a eulogy at a f**... that is scheduled for 5:00am. I had to decline. I'm not much of a mourning person.

Share These 00am Jokes With Friends

00am One Liners

Which 00am one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 00am? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. North Korea Covid Count 9:00am : 1
    9:10am : 0
    9:20am : 1
    9:30am :0
  2. I took a nap at 1:59AM and woke up at 3:00AM Felt like I just blinked

00am Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 00am you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 00am pranks.

A mathematician comes home at 3:00am and gets an earful from his wife…

You're late yells his wife, you said you'd be home at 11:45 .
Actually said the mathematician, I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12 .

Marital Misunderstanding

It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:
"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"
Her husband looks at her and says:
"This is the pig I sleep with when you're having one of your headaches."
"You idiot. That's not a pig it's a goat!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my goat."

I hate how funerals are at 9.00am.

I'm not really a mourning person.

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:

1. Get up at 5:00AM every day
2. 90 minutes of cardio
3. Take a cold shower
4. Journal
5. Schedule out your day
6. Dad owns Fortune 500 company
7. Meditate

Three old men sitting on a park bench…

Man #1: I wish I can sleep through the night, I get up every 2 hours to pee.
Man #2: You think that's bad? I'm constipated and haven't had a bowel movement in a week.
Man #3: You think you guys have problems? I sleep throughout the night and every morning at 7:30 I empty my bladder and have a big bowel movement.
The other two men look confused…How's that a problem? They ask.
Man #3: I don't get up until 8:00am…

A woman wakes up on the morning of her wedding anniversary and her husband wasn't there.

It was 2.00am and she was concerned. She searched the house until finally she found him in the basement sobbing uncontrollably.
She tried to comfort him and asked, "honey, what's the matter? "
Between sobs he answers, "Do you remember when your dad the cop caught us, underage, making out in your room?
And he threatened that if I didnt marry you immediately he would make sure I got 20 years in jail?"
"Yeah, I remember," she answered.
He sobbed, "I would have gotten out of jail today...."

funny husband and wife playing silent .......

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up.