I'm sad as a coconut.
He said the steaks were too high.
as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
M'laysia
The librarian asks "hard back?"
The guy replies "yeah little heads too."
They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.
$0, it's on the house.
I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting
You.
Why I oughta...!
My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her sexy sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have sex before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
"Nice gender, did your mommy pick it out for you???"