Funny Jokes and puns

Daily joke about ostrich

ostrich joke

Jokes of the Day for November 29th 2020

Two guys get pulled over...

Two guys in a car get pulled over. The cop walks up to the window and says "We're looking for 2 pedophiles". The car window goes up then after a few seconds comes back down.
The driver gives a sigh. "Alright, we'll do it"

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician

And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too.

What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

... Kilometre Cyrus

birthday card

As i handed my mom her 50th birthday card today she said " One would've done"

Told a girl she looks better without her glasses on.

She said I also look better without her glasses on.

I looked at my bank account and found I could live the rest of my life comfortably without working...

... as long as I die on Thursday.

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father in law

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5

My friend didn't believe me that Slash was in AC/DC

C'mon he is right there in the middle

Yesterday at the dinner table my dad asked me, "are you even listening to me?"

weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.

In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..

..so I failed her!

I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full"

Couldn't turn it down.

I bought a theremin

But I haven't touched it in years.

I'm sorry to anyone who gets it.

Funny how things are still tagged NSFW

As if any of us still have jobs

Update: stop bragging about being employed, it's lowering morale /s

Where do you find a dog that has no legs?

Where you left it.

Joko Jokes