Why do black people never dream?
Cause the last black person who dreamed, got shot.

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The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

The 2016 US Presidential Election

That's it. That's the entire fucking joke.

Everyone in Hawaii is mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools.

Hawaii **IS** the early warning system.

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We'll take the aliens, you get the predators

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying?

Midlife crisis

Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

For anyone attending Stan Lee's funeral...

Make sure you stay after the ceremony is finished.

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