Funny Jokes and puns

Daily joke about hunters

hunters joke

Jokes of the Day for May 19th 2023

Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier.

He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.

The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay

When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days...

I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.

What does a clock do when its hungry?

It goes back 4 seconds.

I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist.

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere

Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg

A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly

where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.

In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices….

Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden…

A female nudist calls for a taxi

The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.

At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a n**... girl before?

Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..

An American spy comes into a Soviet bar

And orders a drink.

"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.

The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of v**... and drains it in one big gulp.

"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"

The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.

"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"

He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.

"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"

"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"

"There are no black Russians"

It is unfair how for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes $0.78...

Because then the man is left with only $0.22...

Wife walks up to husband, takes off her pants and says, "Make me feel like a woman"

Husband takes off his pants, tosses it to his wife and says, "That needs a wash."

~~

If Trump is elected president...

He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.

What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open?

Brought it back for a refund.

Joko Jokes