Funny Jokes and puns
Daily joke about teethbrush
Jokes of the Day for October 2nd 2022
A Genie grants a wish.
I met a magical Genie. He gave me one wish. I said, "I wish I could be you.
The Genue saud, "Weurd wush but U wull grant ut."
A die-hard fan was very surprised to see an empty seat at the Superbowl...
He noticed a woman sitting next to the empty seat and made a remark about it to her. "Well, it was my husband's", she said. "But he died." "Oh my gosh!" He said. "I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm surprised that another friend or family member didn't jump at the chance to take the ticket." "Beats me", she said. "They all insisted on going to the funeral."
So God creates Adam...
...and soon after he notices that Adam is lonely.
God says "Do not fear, my child. For I will create a partner to accompany you and man from this time forth. She will be known, as a woman."
God continues "She will be obedient, loyal, passionate and nurturing."
Adam hesitates..
"What is this gonna cost me?" Adam asks.
God responds "An arm and a leg."
Adam retorts "What can I get for a rib?"
If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country
Not a political post, I just love to travel
It's very rare that a defibrillator fails.
But when it happens no one is shocked.
The doctor gave me 5 month to live.
So in the heat of the moment, I shot him.
And the judge gave me 25 years.
Problem solved.
My wife said she's breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming,
I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!
A man walks into a bar
and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what the deal was about:
"Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answers:
"Nah, the stakes are too high."
Strippers don't have air conditioning in their homes.
............Onlyfans
You know how sometimes...
You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you?
Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist.
If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them.
You are bigger than that!
What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms?
A Goodyear
My girlfriend just told me she has a STD...
I'm Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship
How do you know that an introvert likes you?
He looks at your shoes instead of his.
British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final
Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k