I know he means well...
Confused, I replied, Oh, is that still required?
Another friend: Since when was Mark your best friend?
Me: Since yesterday.
Maybe I should let her in.
Lord , he prays, I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.
The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, Actually never mind, I've found one.
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
But I'm just stuck here holding my rod
But it put her to sleep.
I told her it was the dude from Sesame street
She said, "He doesn't count."
I said, "Oh I assure you, he does."
(obligatory cake day joke)
"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
Seminole Fluid doesn't sound quite as good.
Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
... I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, your brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.