Funny Jokes and puns

Daily joke about coughing

coughing joke

Jokes of the Day for January 17th 2022

"Son you're just not cut out to be a mime."

"Is it something I said?"

"Yes."

A boy offers a girl $100 in exchange for sex

"Sure, why not" replies the girl.

"And what about $10?" the boy asks.

"Are you crazy? What do you think I am?"

"I already know what you are, now we're just discussing the price."

My girlfriend asked me if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose...

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!

A man gets pulled over by the police...

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied, "That would be my wife."

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.

Not to cause any trouble but... shouldn't that be an even number?

Bill Gates: "Why don't you tell me why Bing failed"

Bill gates: So why don't you tell me why Bing failed.

Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.

Bill gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.

An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar

I know because they told me.

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.

Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

My gf texted me "myspacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"

Do any of you know what "ternative" means?

I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible

I'm an eighth theist

Your mom is so ugly...

That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask

I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be "saved" or "I'll burn"...

Stupid firefighters.

What did Kate Middleton find out on her wedding night?

That not all rulers are twelve inches long

A dad and his son are watching the news when a story about gay marriage pops up.

the son asks, "dad, what does gay mean?"

the dad replies quickly, "gay means happy."

The son looks at him and asks him, "are you gay?"

"no son, i have a wife..."

Joko Jokes