Funny Jokes and puns

Daily joke about chickfila

chickfila joke

Jokes of the Day for January 16th 2023

What are a male donkey's pronouns?

He / haw

Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy farting in their crypt.

If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket

You can hide but you can't run

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell

I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye

So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen

My wife left me because I'm too insecure.

No wait, she's back. She just went out to bring me a cake.

What's the difference between the China Virus and the Vietnam War?

Trump dodged the Vietnam War.

When Noah reached land, he threw open the ark doors and said, "Go forth and multiply".

When all the animals cleared out, only a pair of confused looking snakes remained.

"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.

"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".

How come nobody at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

So my wife said "take off my shirt".

So I did as she said and took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I continued and took off her skirt.

"Take off my shoes." Once again, I did as she said and I took off her shoes.

"Now my hose, bra, and panties." And lastly, I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous.

I'm disappointed that you all came today.

If I had a penny for every time someone said they think I have OCD...

I'd have 1,526 pennies.

What is the cheapest meat?

Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.

A man walks into a butchers...

The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."

A general walks up to his private

"Private!"

"Yes, sir!"

"I didn't see you in camouflage tactics training this morning!"

"Thank you, sir!"

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